Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize