You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Alive.
So much puke
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
