Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize