im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
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I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
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She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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