Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
