I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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