Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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