Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm just crazy horny about you
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
