its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
