he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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