My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
