We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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