i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
