At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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