Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
