I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Found the puke drawer
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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