Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize