I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
