I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We got so high we made milksteak
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
