sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
