i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
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I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
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I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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