I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it was like his penis was on wheels.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
