Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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