I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
