its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
