I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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