I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
They have beer where we have blood.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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