I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
