I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
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And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
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Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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