This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
