He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Say something about gay babies.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
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We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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