the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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