I wish I could punch you in the face.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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