I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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