My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
