i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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