Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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