Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
