in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
