I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
