I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
farters have to be the big spoon...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
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this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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