she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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