Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
