She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize