Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize