those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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