HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
