someone threw a dead crab at me
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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