the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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