I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize