Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
