turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I love having hate sex.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
