Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
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The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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