my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
